I've gotten a lot of creative inspiration from various sources these past few months, and they all seem to be coalescing. I feel like I'd been in a rut creatively for a while now, and I wasn't trying anything new, but it seems like recent events have conspired to boot me into a new phase... or at least a new way of looking at my creative life.
I went to a friend's exhibit yesterday.
Adam is a talented young man full of promise, and the energy to realize his visions. I met him years ago at a fragrance launch, where he volunteered to pose for me without even seeing a stitch of my work. I later found out he and I had many similarities as artists, but he's at the beginning of his career, while I seemed to have come to a standstill, relying so heavily on my abilities as a designer to get me through creatively.
His exhibit was impressive, with
huge, 8 foot mixed media work, as well as many smaller collages and rough sketches. It reminded me of when I would try anything and everything, to create. It left me really proud of him, and feeling both frustrated as well as fiercely competitive. It was energizing. And I later ran into several other artists, coincidentally - my friends
Michael Letzig and a writer named Pie who knew about Adam's exhibit, and we spoke about our art. And with my recent commission for my friend Bosco, I was questioning my worth as an artist, versus just being an illustrator.
I've become complacent with my abilities. I know I can do so much more now than I used to when I was younger, when I strived so hard to be able to draw things I couldn't. I love faces, and they come so much more easily to me now more than ever. But with the confidence seems to have come a complacency. I seem to be satisfied just drawing, but not necessarily creating work. Or even trying newer things.
Tonight's drawing was something new. It's a cheesy drawing, partially inspired by Adam's collages (not for the cheese part, but for the softer palette as well as the collage style), partially by the resurgence of
frommage-filled 70s magazine illustrations in modern graphic design, and partially by the new music I'd been recently introduced to by two choreographers I've been in touch with more these past few months. I decided to try using the palette knife again for its softness, working in newer tools in Painter, and just kept on it, drawing whatever came to mind, but consciously trying new techniques. It's not an amazing piece, but the fact that it's so different from what I've been doing is immensely satisfying. I'm hoping this is a new path and not just a fluke.
This image popped into my head, rather fully-formed. It was one of those ideas that I just couldn't stop putting down until it seemed right enough to leave. It's part homage to Patrick Nagel, with its serigraph-like color blocks and semi-erotic direction; part homage to the late, great Gianfranco Ferré, whose architectural white blouses I always loved.; and it's also a nod to Arthur Mount, with his modern day color blocked style done via Illustrator. The woman's face and expression are very much like I wanted it to look, which is rather rare for me. I don't know where this came from. No references either.
This was just a quickie sketch again, not unlike a doodle I would put down on a stray sheet of paper. But what works in instances like these is the fact that because it's done digitally I can just clean it up later, or color it in in ways that I would never do if it was on a spare scrap. Not a finished piece by any means, but a nice quick doodle. Plus the mango color is cheery.
Back in the day, I wrote a silly little origin story with some friends of mine, for a character that no one knew much about. I had it on paper for over 18 years, and finally, I scanned and partially re-inked it. I decided for reasons unknown to ink one of the pages tonight (probably to avoid work), so here it is. It's a little strange inking over drawings I did two decades ago - I recognize my work but don't draw that way anymore. And yet, I want to keep it somewhat consistent...If you want to see more on this story, the entire short is available here.
It was all about the boys in Fire island, not that I didn't expect it. But one of the reasons I've avoided going there for so long is that I live in Chelsea, for over a decade the gay mecca of NYC, and going elsewhere just to see the boys again seemed like overkill. Thankfully, hanging out with my friends at the house was even more enjoyable than I already thought it would be, but hanging out in the beach and at the Tea Dances also fed my bad mental self image and body dysmorphia. I just can't reconcile knowing how to draw a perfect body and not being able to be one. Must be time for more therapy.
I'm going to Fire Island for the first time in my life (I think I've avoided it long enough) so I have a lot of things to do today before leaving tomorrow. I wanted to watch the latest episode of Naruto before I went, but I also had to do a drawing, so I figured I'd stay with an anime theme. Not too authentic, but my rendition of an anime style - like a lot of non-Japanese artists are doing nowadays. Who knew that drawing big-eyed characters would be so popular in the aughts? I certainly didn't, not when I was watching mech in the late 70s.