About September last year, I got a birthday present from my friend Rima that has been kinda mind-boggling: I had a rather detailed astrology reading that marked out my entire year from that September onward. It's kinda uncanny: the reader mapped out periods in the (then-) coming year where I would be experiencing great challenges and difficulties, both in the work as well as personal situations. Over half a year later, time periods where he mentioned 'intensity' showing up in my chart have proven to be spot-on harbingers of the most difficult periods I've been experiencing lately. I'm in the middle of one right now, supposedly lasting From May through to July. It certainly rings true in this blog, when you look at the work I've favored doing over the past month or so. Friends of friends who follow my blog have gotten word back to me, all with the word "dark."
It's a trying time to say the least, and while I expose my moods with my drawings (can I call them art? I dunno - they're just random sketches more often than not), I find it a bit harder to write about the details - in that, I'm at least very private.
There's not a lot of people I know following this blog, and I do it more for the sheer sake of drawing, the one talent I've always had and would be remiss not to use everyday, but I apologize if the posts haven't been entertainingly pleasant. Regardless of how good I am or not, I've learned to accept that I am an artist, and my art will speak for me when I can't. And my mood has been dark of late, because of major changes I've been going through for the past several years, that seem to be culminating this year. So the seepage into my work and posts seems inevitable.
We'll see if the astrologer's predictions will come true - maybe I'll end up using more bright colors come August! But I can't stop drawing. It was a promise I made to myself over two years ago, when I realized I had spent so much time not using my abilities after a rather difficult period back then as well. I'm glad to have kept my promise going nigh on three years. I've made so much personal progress that I didn't realize I could, just by drawing everyday, even when I didn't want to.
And apparently I'm someone for whom mind-over-matter applies, because when my mood goes down, so does my health. I'm currently fighting a sinus infection / cold, the result of me trying to fix my stiff neck problems by over-applying liniment to the entirety of my neck. Well, all that chemical icy-hotness resulted in making my throat feel like it was exposed all night to a draft, and voila. So I've been avoiding the computer and been drawing offline. I'll upload those sketches later.
George, I don't know what it is you're going through, and of course, don't know you well enough to even think of asking, but I do understand how completely non-art "stuff" can seep in and literally color one's work. And of course, if this wasn't the case artists like Picasso, Van Gogh, Basquiat, and Warhol would not have become so well-known in their careers.
ReplyDeleteThis is a bizarre astrological year and numerological year - being that it's an 11 / 2 year everyone is feeling the affects of disconnection and loneliness much more deeply than in years past. I guess I bring that up to say "it's half over!". It's actually been a sucky year for me as well, on a personal level and I'm so thankful that I have my art and am making progress on that front, because otherwise 2009 would be one I could have been happy writing off in, oh, January.
So my friend, it's going to get better, and if nothing else, know you've inspired another designer to start her own blog.
Thanks for everything. Never doubt your talent!!